All tagged No Added Sugar
One of the better 'no sugar added' chocolate milks I've had thus far. It's not overly chocolaty to be sure, but there's a pleasant, not-too-fakey sweetness that pairs well with the oddly creamy base (for 1%). This punches above its weight class given the constraints it has taken on.
Very unique combination-- a thick, creamy body with understated, but twangy non-sugar sweetness. Cocoa is hard to locate and takes a back seat to the sweetener and relatively prominent cooked milk flavor. The aftertaste leaves an unsatisfying coating in the mouth, but for just 1g sugar, it sort of feels like a 'win.'
Somehow manages to avoid 'face-twisting' territory. The texture is chalky, drying, and heavy, while the flavor is best described as faux-sweetly metallic. You could do a lot worse in this category, but drinking this for pleasure would be an exercise in self-loathing. If you need 32g of protein with minimal caloric baggage, have at it, but don't expect to like it.
Lead-like dull flavor, with no semblance of what makes chocolate milk enjoyable-- some sweetness, cocoa, creaminess, etc-- none of those are remotely represented here. There's a mineral-esque, clinical, hold-your-nose-and-take-your-medicine quality to the 'flavor', and an egregiously chalky and drying finish that, as far as I can tell, is an effort to curb that pre-vomit salivation.
I'm genuinely embarrassed by my low expectations-- this is an outstanding port of the traditional Oberweis 2% chocolate milk. Particularly impressive is the no-sugar-added (allulose/stevia) finesse, executed so deftly that you have to try hard to notice the difference. For all the times I've been beat mercilessly over the head by the Stevia or Monk Fruit sledgehammer-- I had assumed that using these ingredients were a lost cause; an automatic palate destroyer. Not anymore. Oberweis figured out just the right levels to deliver a relatively low calorie, low sugar, high caliber chocolate milk experience worthy of your time, especially for those seeking these 'better for you' or lactose free features. It can be done. They cracked the code. I like this stuff.
Much flatter than its lighter counterpart, the sledgehammer of fake sweetness is significantly mitigated here-- allowing for some actual cocoa flavor to poke through. There's still an issue with the chalky / drying texture here but that's not terribly uncommon among protein-fortified drinks. A clear winner among the Slate portfolio, but still won't compare favorably to even the most average of chocolate milks.
Overpowering faux take-your-medicine-esque sweetness with little relief to follow. You're left with an unnatural aftertaste and drying residue-- no semblance of chocolate or milk to be found. The label recommends you to 'shamelessly chug away'-- and I agree, as you'll want to limit the amount of tastebud contact as best you can.
A sludgy, chalky disaster that only gets worse when you put it in your mouth. Sure, it delivers a ton of protein without the calories, at the mere cost of your pleasure and self-respect. It's overly fakey-sweet, with zero salt note to bring a resolution to it. There is at least a noticeable cocoa flavor if you can sift through the other garbage to appreciate it.
Oddly undersweet at first sip, until a wave of phony, cloying sweetness rushes to the 'rescue' in the latter third of the sip. Admittedly, it wrests your attention away from the thick, chalky sludgy texture. It looks chocolaty, but that doesn't translate to the drinking experience much at all-- as bad as this is, I've had significantly worse. It's not face-twisting awful, which is the best thing I can say about it.
Sludgy, chalky, and vitamin-y tasting-- this would serve well as a meal replacement as it rather efficiently curbs the appetite. It's not face-twistingly bad, but rather predictable in its fortified flavor and clotted body. You deserve much better regardless of whether you just finished a crossfit workout or a large pizza.
Cloying upfront sweetness, especially for a no sugar added product— where the stevia takes over in the latter half of the sip, steering you into a chemical-esque downward spiral of dread. The texture is less concerning, though it sports an odd lightness, thankfully making it less likely to trigger your gag reflex.
If Robitussin got into the chocolate milk business, I would expect something similar to this. Fortunately the Stevia flavor isn’t oppressive, but it’s not flavorful in any positive direction. The texture is dense and not as unnatural as expected, and visually, it looks ok. And just like that, my cough is gone.
It probably won’t stab you to death in the shower. That’s the only positive thing I can say about it. You won’t question the ‘no sugar added’ claim on the front, but you may ponder how many brushings it will take to erase the flavor from your mouth, and how much bleach you’ll have to huff to dull the memory.
A chemical-esque chalky concoction, this may be more enjoyable to take as a suppository. The earthy flavor is more ‘garage sweepings’ than ‘arable countryside’ and the sweetener is distracting (perhaps a good thing in this case). I get that it’s low calorie— but it just reinforces the adage that there’s no biological free lunch.
A biting stevia twang rushes to the sides of your tongue, absconding with the bulk of your attention. What remains is a non-creamy, earthy-cocoa-flavored liquid that's not worth your time, money, or refrigerator space.
Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
The Splenda taste is immediately recognizable (if you’re familiar with it) and it adequately sweetens the otherwise cardboard-y flavor. The aftertaste has an acidic bent that reminds me (only slightly) of the post-vomit stuff that you continue to spit out before the initial ‘rinse’.
Either a bitter fruitiness or a fruity bitterness greets you on the first sip and instantly manifests as regret. That’s more than $0.01 per mL— provided you drink the whole bottle. Pretty sure you won’t want to.
Milky and salty, but not quite malty or chocolaty. The artificial sweeteners are there if you look for them, but the smoothness greatly enhances the drinkability and makes sucralose less likely to be noticed.
