All tagged Gluten Free
An improvement over past iterations, but still lacking heavily in most relevant measures. It drinks a lot more watery than it looks and feels-- and has a pretty restrained flavor (which is better than having a strong, awful flavor). A chalkiness sets in about 4 seconds after the swallow, and it will even spread to your lips if unchecked. In short, not as offensive as I was braced for, but to call it a pleasant surprise would border on hyperbolic.
A sludgy, chalky disaster that only gets worse when you put it in your mouth. Sure, it delivers a ton of protein without the calories, at the mere cost of your pleasure and self-respect. It's overly fakey-sweet, with zero salt note to bring a resolution to it. There is at least a noticeable cocoa flavor if you can sift through the other garbage to appreciate it.
Oddly undersweet at first sip, until a wave of phony, cloying sweetness rushes to the 'rescue' in the latter third of the sip. Admittedly, it wrests your attention away from the thick, chalky sludgy texture. It looks chocolaty, but that doesn't translate to the drinking experience much at all-- as bad as this is, I've had significantly worse. It's not face-twisting awful, which is the best thing I can say about it.
Satisfying experience with a cocoa-focus, and a saltiness that does its best to leverage the 2% base. This seems to be the standard template of reduced fat organic chocolate milk that shares many brands/labels and is becoming ubiquitous. I'm not complaining.
Bold and brave-- an unapologetically un-sweet chocolate milk that shines the spotlight on cocoa and buttery, grassy, salty cream (even at 2% reduced fat). The result is a shockingly focused treat that is adequately sweet in isolation, but is likely to be off-putting to the casual consumer seeking a quick, sweet fix. I'm seriously impressed.
Sludgy, chalky, and vitamin-y tasting-- this would serve well as a meal replacement as it rather efficiently curbs the appetite. It's not face-twistingly bad, but rather predictable in its fortified flavor and clotted body. You deserve much better regardless of whether you just finished a crossfit workout or a large pizza.
Powerfully dense and flavorful, with a tidal wave of upfront sweetness followed by an extremely rewarding and rich chocolaty back end. Honestly, the latter third of the sip is the highlight, and worth weathering the initial sugary storm-- which, don't get me wrong, is indulgent and tasty, just stronger than you may expect from a chocolate milk. In short, it's super interesting, unique, and worth seeking out, particularly if you have a sweet tooth.
A deeper, darker, and of course, creamier experience compared with it’s 2% (non-organic) counterpart— but it lacks a salty punch that would further pop the cocoa and cream. Petty nitpicks aside, it’s an absolutely delicious way to spend a few dollars, a few minutes, and a few hundred calories.
Every bit as delectable as its reduced fat sibling (just a tad girthier), this could very well be the best shelf-stable chocolate milk available. Unapologetically grassy, salty, and buttery (not necessarily in that order)— it delivers loads of indulgence from mouth to brainstem to duodenum— and all points in between.
Whomever decided to package and sell this stuff should be put on a watch list. It’s watery, yet fiercely chalky, and the flavor is decidedly more ‘graphite’ than ‘chocolate truffle.’ They could easily rebrand this as an appetite suppressant.
Less flavorful overall than its ‘classic’ counterpart, and when the flavor is generally bad, less of it is a good thing. The cocoa is more noticeable, but there isn’t much salt, sweetness, or cream to help develop it or add dimension. It’s watery and highly chalky as well— I appreciate the packaging and the ‘better for you’ endeavor, but from a flavor / drinking experience standpoint, it’s significantly below the typical ‘bad’ chocolate milk.
Easily the worst version of Yoo-hoo I’ve tried. The bouquet alone should be an effective defense mechanism, but should you go in for a sip, rest assured it will be one of very few. It’s an egregious miss—assuming the target was cookies & cream and not soured acetone. This is terrible.
Well, it’s cold, brown, and would suck if you spilled it on your crotch— that’s where the similarities with chocolate milk end. I want to like this, but even the smallest sip brings about facial contortions. It looks decent coming out the can, but the flavor is unfortunately dominated by a heavy-handed pseudo-bitter-sweet twang that steers the rest of the experience toward imminent catastrophe.
If Robitussin got into the chocolate milk business, I would expect something similar to this. Fortunately the Stevia flavor isn’t oppressive, but it’s not flavorful in any positive direction. The texture is dense and not as unnatural as expected, and visually, it looks ok. And just like that, my cough is gone.
Perhaps I’m bitter, but as a lover of Twix I must be strict here. Absent are the best features of the candy bar— the cookie crunch and the fact that there are 2 bars; thus you’re left with a soulless, syrupy milk that harbors a scorched caramel bite and thankfully few other notables.
I was shocked to find that ‘coffee’ was not a primary ingredient— as this tastes much more like a botched hazelnut mocha latte than a liquid Snickers bar. Things only get worse in the aftertaste— best not to have a foretaste.
Girthy, chalky, and a restrained flavor profile that deftly avoids funkiness. Drink this for its impressive characteristics if you must, but look elsewhere for more hedonistic pursuits.
Coarse, chocolaty, and a not-quite-‘soapy’ sourness that distracts from the rest of the flavors. It’s appropriately under-sweet and responsible feeling— it’s just held back by the odd competing flavor that pulls you out of the experience.
Velvet-like cream adorned with a signature flavor that I can only describe as ‘caramalt’— an appropriately enticing-sounding portmanteau that bears salt, swagger, and soul— two of which are also men’s deodorant scents.
Devastatingly focused on delivering a clean, true cocoa flavor that pairs exceedingly well with the cream to provide a top-flight drinking experience. There’s a salty bite and a fleeting but blissful grassy back-end that both feels like a reward, yet is rewarding in itself.
