I appreciate the thinner-than-expected viscosity nestled among its otherwise dead-average characteristics.
All tagged 5.0
Babcock Hall Dairy Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly smooth with a powdery quality to both the cocoa and finish, though it doesn't stray too far from the standard chocolate milk paradigm on all fronts. Likely serves as a key component of many a local hangover remedy.
Hiland Chocolate Reduced Fat Milk
Sweet and maple-syrupy, very light on cocoa flavor. It’s smooth, but feels a bit too slick— a slight departure from ‘milky.’
Lochmead Farms Chocolate Milk
Dense, earthy, and a bit on the starchy side— but it’s picked up by a creamy undertone that starts subtly and ends strongly. There’s a uniqueness to the flavor that will raise neither your suspicion nor your opinion.
Producers Dairy Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Slightly earthy, and otherwise exceedingly average in all respects. It certainly doesn't stand out in a flight of chocolate milks, but occasionally there’s something to be said for getting exactly what you expect.
Dutch Maid Chocolate Milk
Strong cocoa flavor in a thin, and slightly under-creamy (considering the fat content) medium. It satisfies your chocolate craving in a pinch, but comes up a bit short on the 'milk' side of the ledger. All in all, it balances out to an average experience.
Alaska Choco!
Impressively chocolaty and under-sweet— only held back by the thick(ish), powdery/chalky texture— which is far from a deal-breaker, but rather a persistent annoyance. Nonetheless, the remainder of the drink is flavorful, creamy enough, and enjoyable enough to garner an average overall score.
Fernleaf Chocolate Milk
Solid but uninteresting, with the mild salty/buttery snap at the end being its standout feature. The chocolate bit is underwhelming, but not egregiously so— all in all, a competent offering that stands above much of its Malaysian competition somewhat by default.
UK Farm Chocolate Goat Milk
The dominant flavor is ‘malt’ by a long shot— it’s not particularly chocolaty or goaty. The texture is excellent, and the creaminess shines as well (especially given the thin medium). It’s not ‘gamey’ or ‘wild’ tasting as other non-cow milks can be, but more on the bland side with plus physical attributes.
F&N Magnolia Chocolate Milk (UHT box)
Unexpectedly thick for a boxed milk, I kept expecting the flavor to turn sketchy— but it never quite did. It’s well proportioned (in contrast to other F&N products I’ve had in the past), and a pleasant surprise— though the viscosity remains a drawback for my tastes.
Hollandia Dairy Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Much like your average co-worker: acceptably competent, slightly boring, and not worth introducing to your sister.
Whataburger Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Smooth, pleasantly sweet and amply chocolaty for the task it’s set to achieve. It doesn't take any risks, but goes well with a #1 combo from Whataburger (sans pickle, of course).
Sonic Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Smoother and slightly less sweet than Bojangles, and a similarly enjoyable experience. It doesn't take any chances; escaping mediocrity is likely not the goal here. Sonic has many more truly indulgent menu options— chocolate milk need not be one of them.
Bojangles Chocolate Milk
Sweet and lightly malty, an average experience that carries all the hallmarks of chocolate milk. It doesn't promise anything that it can't deliver.
Howling Cow Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Decidedly average in most respects— it is on the thinner side of the viscosity continuum. It does sport a mild ‘cartony’ taste that tends to be more prevalent in smaller carton-housed chocolate milks. Plenty serviceable for collegiate dining halls, late-night study groups, and hangover relief.
Hunter Farms Chocolate Milk
Nicely creamy but in lieu of chocolate flavor there is a cloying sweetness that gives it more of a vanilla bent-- but still not quite vanilla. In the end, it's creamy, uninterestingly sweet, and otherwise bland.
Friendly Farms Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly sweet and chocolaty with minimal funky aftertaste, a solidly average chocolate milk that doesn’t take too many chances.
Country Delite Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Flat overall flavor and dead average across the board. This perfectly epitomizes the ‘average chocolate milk in a big ass gallon jug’ motif that pervades so much of America.
Natural Low Fat Chocolate Milk UHT
More of a creamy flavor than a sweet one, it feels closer to the mature end of the cocoa spectrum as opposed to the ‘candied’ end. It’s pleasant, checks all the boxes, but won’t blow you away with any spikes or dips in flavor or quality.
Best Choice Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly average chocolate milk that plays it right down the middle in all categories and doesn’t go into business for itself.