Watery, strangely thin but powdery, and carries a hint of a fermented ‘beery’ note that is thankfully fleeting, but still present in every sip.
All tagged 2.0
Chen Ying Chocolate Milk
Bland, save for a sourish note that has nothing to do with chocolate and serves only to further the ‘don’t need to have this again’ narrative.
Fresh Delight Chocolate Milk (UHT)
Paralyzingly bland-- no sweetness, cocoa, salt, malt, you name it.. Scoring this a 2.0 overall, as anything below 2.0 needs to have enough of a flavor to be considered ‘bad.’ This product is evidently aimed at those who find ketchup too spicy, and The Andy Griffith Show too racy.
Yoohoo Chocolate Strawberry
It tastes like sweet strawberry gum— not the worst thing ever, but I couldn’t locate the chocolate component. My biggest disappointment was that the product is the typical Yoohoo brown— I was hoping for something closer to the box’s radioactive mauve.
Gatorade Recover Chocolate Protein Shake
Syrupy and grainy texture— it’s not milk, nor does it imitate it well. The sweetness level is appropriate, and the flavor is not terribly chocolaty, but not necessarily terrible. It’s rather boring, with a sticky, unnatural feel.
Sealtest Chocolate Dairy Beverage No Sugar Added
The Splenda taste is immediately recognizable (if you’re familiar with it) and it adequately sweetens the otherwise cardboard-y flavor. The aftertaste has an acidic bent that reminds me (only slightly) of the post-vomit stuff that you continue to spit out before the initial ‘rinse’.
Nestle Nesquik Chocolate Reduced Sugar
Chalky, plasticky feel, and a flavor that is dominated by an artificial sweetness. You can taste the cinnamon, which may cater to local tastes, for me it doesn’t work in a chocolate milk.
Lala Yomi Chocolate
A heck of a lot sweeter than the label reads, it’s too much. Upfront, the sugary blast shocks your tastebuds and prevents them from registering any other flavors. In the end, the aftertaste turns sour and metallic. The texture is nice, but that’s really the only positive quality.
Hershey's Leche Tropichoco
Definitely contains coconut flavor (not specifically called out on the label), which slaked my curiosity for what “Tropichoco” might be, and that gives the drink just enough direction to feel like an improvement over the previous Mexican Hershey’s boxed products. It shares the same cloying sweetness and contrived texture, but at least delivers on its (ambiguous) claim of difference.
Marinela Leche Gansito
Every bit as gray as wet cement, the flavor is less remarkable and very much skews toward the ‘sweet and not much else’ region. Though, the ‘not much else’ manages to contain a mild, multi-vitaminish note, but it’s distant enough to offend only the most sensitive.
Supligen Chocolate
Smooth upfront with a sweet mineral/metallic flavor blast, followed by a chalky exit and mullti-vitamin-y aftertaste. There’s a lot going on here, and while it tastes ok enough to continue, it’s not something that you would pursue for recreation.
Fuel 10K Chocolate Protein Boosted Milk Drink
Watery and unsweet— so you're left with a chalky, wheaty, proteiny taste that is reminiscent of sports drinks of old. The under-sweetness would work a whole lot better were there a creamy component, but it’s completely devoid of that.
UFit Chocolate Flavour High Protein Milkshake 50g
More bland and starchy than the 22g version, but a similar taste. I’d say it’s slightly more preferable as the aftertaste is less overt.
Cacolac Bio
Similar to the (non-organic) canned version in that it’s super thin, smooth, and primarily sweet with a somewhat skunky cocoa flavor playing second fiddle. It’s less pronounced in this version, but the watery base nudges this more toward the realm of ‘choco drink’ than ‘chocolate milk.’
Inex Choco Melk
Sports a mustardy earthiness that is unique but unwelcome. To make matters worse, there’s a starchy texture that continues to dry the mouth long after each lamentable swallow.
Albert Heijn Light Choco Melk
Same sort of tongue-watering reaction that I got from the Classic and Halfvol Albert Heijn versions. Aside from that undesirable quality, this drink is flat and under-salted at the very least.
Albert Heijn Half Vol Choco Melk
Decent initial hit of cocoa flavor, but that soon atrophies to an unsavory (no pun intended) aftertaste that made my tongue water. There’s definitely something off.
Tine YT Melk Og Kakao
Tastes and feels exactly like a protein drink, which won't win any flavor contests. Vitamin-y taste and dense, slightly syrupy texture— I feel like I’ve had this same product many times from various different packages.
Jaani Kakao Kondenspiim
Doesn't mix terribly easily with milk (both being cold) and when it does it adds a little color and sweetness to the milk, but not much else— especially in terms of chocolate. Probably better as a baking ingredient (?) or undiluted ice cream or dessert topping.
Valio Pro Feel Suklainen Chokladsmak
Thickish and super drying to the mouth— quite a strong powdery quality. Flavorwise, it does well for having artificial sweeteners (they’re not over-present) and the chocolate is there but comes with a little sharpness initially. The more I drink, the more I’m used to the flavor but disgusted by how its coating the inside of my mouth.