Thick and dense feeling, but pleasantly undersweet and carries enough chocolate taste to warrant the claim. It’s also very chalky, which renders more in the aftertaste than upfront.
All tagged 3.0
Lilac Chocolademelk
Flat experience that is reminiscent of melted, unsalted butter (except not as good as that would be). It's milky and mildly sweet, but the product is actually less interesting than the (seemingly uninteresting) box that it’s in.
Melkan Halfvolle Chocolade Melk
The taste is decidedly average, but the texture feels more like an oil/water concoction than how you’d expect milk to be. This might be more noticeable when drinking it out of a cup (rather than the straw attached to the box), but it's distracting and worth noting.
Tine Sjokomelk
Instead of chocolate, I’m getting more of a fake kettle corn flavor (is there true kettle corn flavor?). No qualms about the texture, but in sampling side-by-side with other chocolate milks, the strange flavor becomes increasingly evident.
McEnnedy Chocolate Milkshake
Highly emulsified, unnatural feel, and a super-sweet, melted-marshmallow-esque flavor that is noticeably better than others I’ve had in this genre (American Style, Milbona Shake, etc.). I would expect young kids to enjoy this, but then again, young kids sometimes enjoy finger-painting with their own feces.
Maitomaa Protein Performance
Strong and nearly rancid banana scent, though the flavor is more what you’d expect (much more banana than chocolate). Dense yet smooth and surprisingly not starchy-feeling, I found myself enjoying it more as I got used to it. There’s a mild wheaty undertone that becomes more noticeable in the aftertaste, but it’s not terrible considering its makeup.
Tolle Kakaos Tej
Nearly identical to Spar ESL Kakaos Tej and Milfina Kakaos Tej, but this manages to be a touch less sweet and therefore registers as slightly more bland. Shouldn't offend anyone, but why not pursue something that will present more challenge to your tastebuds?
Mizo Kakaos Ital
Very ‘milky’ flavor that is a touch ‘plasticky’ as well— perhaps due to the packaging— as it’s nearly identical in composition to the Mizo Kakao Low Fat version, but tastes very different. It’s decently thin and smooth, but in order to find the cocoa flavor, you have to get beyond the dominant ‘other’ flavor.
Nom Fasten Protein Drink Schoko
A little dusty and drying to the mouth. Sweetness feels shallow and fake, but it’s not terrible for a protein fortified drink.
Rajo Brejky Kakao
Fruity sweetness that you can smell before actually tasting it. The consistency is very good, and the included straw is unique and super neat (closed-end with 4 small round holes on each side)— but the taste is not up to par with even average chocolate milk.
Rajo Active Protein Dairy Drink Cokolada
Highly unsweet, but with noticeable bitter cocoa flavor that has a tiny hint of anise to the finish. It’s fairly thick, grainy, and chalky as you might expect for a drink with nearly 10g of protein per 100mL, but it doesn’t reek of unnaturalness like many others do.
Hochwald Eisschoko (500mL)
Great visuals offset by a unique, funky taste that brings about a slight cooling sensation (perhaps that’s intentional?). It almost tastes like some kind of weird sweetened coffee with menthol in it.
Bauer Schoko Protein Drink
Seems like a contradiction in terms, but this is SO memorably bland. It tastes like nothing at all— not water, not air, but maybe like plain 1% milk, without the ‘milk’ flavor though (whatever that is). Almost always, these protein drinks have some sort of weird flavor, sweetener, texture, etc.— but not this one. Four years ago, in Berlin (for my birthday) we did the float tank (Float Berlin); this is the drinkable version of sensory deprivation.
Happy Drink Schoko Low Fat
Bland, boring, pointless. And those are the positive aspects.
Mullermilch Limited American Brownie
Much more sour than the Schoko version, and has a burnt kettle corn flavor that is not a viable substitute for chocolate. It smells a lot like a brownie, but tastes nothing like one— at least a decent brownie.
Gainomax Recovery Drink Chocolate
The flavor and texture are ok for a protein-enriched product, but nowhere good enough to warrant the extreme 100 calories & 16g carbs per 100mL expense. I get that this is supposed to be for those who want to ‘gain’—but for those who are looking for taste alone, this should be avoided. Maltodextrin as the second ingredient is not something I've seen before.
Cocio Chocolate Flavour Milkshake
Thick and starchy feeling-- and a bit of an incongruous ‘cream’ flavor that reminds me of products that emulate butter, but aren’t quite butter. There’s ahint of cardboard in it as well, at least it strikes the back-roof of my mouth as such. Sweet, starchy, not worth the 102 cals / 100mL price tag.
Cocio Classic (can)
Starchy texture and nearly a burnt coffee-esque flavor. Not representative of the Cocio Classic that is packaged in glass— how could it be so different? And why?
Matilde Kakao Milkshake
Like drinking gravy, without the ‘meat’ part of course. It’s super thick, but not due to a high cream quotient-- it’s just way over emulsified, I think to emulate richness. I don't have an issue with the flavor, but the texture feels so contrived that it’s difficult to isolate the two. If you fancy eating chocolate milk with a spoon, this could be your calling.
Lille Lise Kakao
Sweet, thin, and exceptionally uninteresting.