Sludgy, way over-emulsified, and an off flavor that (in part) is due to cinnamon. It’s definitely sweet, nastily thick, and neither indulgent nor what you expect when seeking a chocolate milkshake experience.
All tagged Gluten Free
DM Sportness Chocolate Protein Drink
Thick, metallic, nasty. Like drinking the blood of someone who just did crossfit. No salt, and a bit too much sweet-- this should be avoided.
Byrne Dairy Chocolate Milk (1.89L glass)
Ahh.. Has that same salt/malt combination that I had come to expect from Byrne Dairy— it’s outstanding. The chocolate piece is subtle, but you’re unlikely to care much as everything else is great. Reminiscent of Heidi in Switzerland, which is high praise.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake Light
Mildly metallic aftertaste that dissipates quickly, but the chalkiness is slower to vanish. From a flavor standpoint, it’s under sweetened an under salted; not recommended for recreational consumption.
Organic Valley Organic Fuel High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Extremely chalky, very mildly chocolaty, and relatively unsweet— I applaud the uniqueness in flavor and the aim towards ‘better for you’— but there is little reason to pursue this version for taste alone.
Hershey's White Chocolate Flavored Milk
Tastes more like a melted vanilla Jell-o pudding pop than anything else. It’s not a bad flavor, just devoid of chocolate (come on— white chocolate isn’t really legit), high on sweetness, and gimmicky enough to get me to purchase the 3-pack.
Lazy Meadows Creamtop Whole Chocolate Milk
Same as Atlanta Fresh Crematop Whole Chocolate Milk that I had earlier in Raleigh, NC, just a different name on the label. A remarkable experience- tastes different from anything else I’ve had. It’s super-salty, but you warm to that quickly. It’s plenty creamy, a tad grainy, and very flavorful. Perhaps these grass-fed cows unearthed a salt lick— but still, it’s a luxurious experience that may take a sip or three to get used to.
Core Power Elite High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Thick, chalky, and what sweetness exists tastes artificial and weird, though not completely out of character for Fairlife products. I appreciate that it’s low sugar and (very) high protein and it bears much more semblance to milk than other products in its category— but to drink it for its flavor is not recommended.
Muscle Milk Original Chocolate
Chalky, metallic, and artificially sweet— there’s not much reason to pursue this for taste purposes (I’m sure most people drink it for other reasons). Leaves an unpleasant aftertaste that is hard to shake.
Atlanta Fresh Creamtop Whole Chocolate Milk
A remarkable experience- tastes different from anything else I’ve had. It’s super-salty, but you warm to that quickly. It’s plenty creamy, a tad grainy, and very flavorful. Perhaps these grass-fed cows unearthed a salt lick— but still, it’s a luxurious experience that may take a sip or three to get used to.
Sir Bananas Chocolate Bananamilk
Much more banana than chocolate, and an interesting combination of textures— thick but very smooth. If you like bananas (or banana flavor), you will enjoy this, for chocolate lovers— look elsewhere. A competent drink though.
Muscle Milk Light Chocolate
Smoother texture than the non-light versions, and the horrendous taste is muted to enough of an extent that it *improves* the score. It’s the darkest product I’ve sampled thus far— reminiscent of crude oil.
Muscle Milk Genuine Chocolate
Awful chemical taste, very grainy and unnatural feeling texture. I don't see how people can drink this voluntarily.
Muscle Milk Knockout Chocolate
Grainier, slightly more natural feeling than the ‘Genuine’ Muscle Milk, but still hard to get down. Lots of grit in the teeth after each reluctant swallow.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). Mild metallic aftertaste is thankfully fleeting.
Organic Valley Organic Balance Dark Chocolate Milk Protein Shake
Very sour and slightly bitter cocoa taste that takes a few sips to acclimate to— and by the time you’ve adjusted, the bottle is gone.
Hershey's 2% Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk (325mL UHT)
Solid chocolate flavor delivered through a nicely thin, creamy medium. There is a bit of grain throughout, but it does not detract from the tasty experience. Strong across the board.
Rumble SuperShake Dutch Cocoa
If ‘potting soil’ and ‘paint thinner’ had a baby, this would be the amniotic fluid. This isn’t really chocolate milk in the purest sense, it’s definitely a ‘health shake’— and it may deliver on that, but if it’s taste you’re after, spread garbage disposal gleanings on a cracker instead.
Natrel Dark Chocolate Milk
Thinner, sweeter, and darker— but the chocolate tasted slightly less authentic to me than the Milk Chocolate version. Still, the fact that I didn’t have to chew it was a plus, giving it a slight edge over its lighter counterpart.
Natrel Milk Chocolate
Great look and strong cocoa flavor that is clearly the focus. The texture kills it though, for me— it’s very thick and has a starchy quality to it (as opposed to a cream-induced thickness).