All by Perry Argiropoulos
Cookies & Cream is a difficult flavor to do justice, and I usually cringe in preparation for a sweetness onslaught that typically goes well above your average chocolate milk. That's definitely not the case here-- this exudes a rich, cookie-forward flavor without the sugary crutch. The creamline body extends the flavor to its asymptotic maximum, leaving you with (finally!) a cookies & cream milk accessible enough to a young palate, and truly enjoyable (but on a different level) to a more mature audience. Kind of like some of the iconic animated 'childrens' films like Toy Story, Frozen, etc. So basically an instant classic, and a standout in the C&C milk genre.
Remarkable in many ways-- all of them good. A whole, creamline, protein-fortified chocolate milk is an extremely rare find, and in this case, fantastically well conceived and executed. The added whey protein concentrate carries no flavor or textural baggage whatsoever-- it does add a little thickness but there's no way that I would know that without having looked at the label. I dig that the most prominent flavor is a salty-maltiness (not sweetness)-- and despite lacking a powerful cocoa presence, this is simply one of the very best tasting (and drinking) protein-fortified products that I've ever had. And I've had hundreds.
Appropriately thin texture, and seemingly more vanilla flavor than chocolate. It doesn't take long for the high fructose corn syrup twang to surface in the aftertaste, an effect that becomes more noticable as you work your way through the gallon. No need to get that far, unless you're dying of thirst or share a similar chocolate milk psychosis to mine.
Sharply sweet with otherwise decent balance of flavor and texture for a homogenized whole chocolate milk. The cocoa flavor is slightly warm and pleasant, but becomes overshadowed early and late by the searing sugary rush-- which registers on the uvula and feels a bit 'much' when it's all said and done.
Smooth and agreeable on the palate, with an appropriate sweetness and medium-to-malty cocoa flavor that feels unique (when it shouldn't). Not bad for a hotel breakfast bar-- modestly above standard but still worlds apart from a whole, creamline chocolate milk.
Decidedly undersweet, and though it doesn't taste good per se, it's a bold and pleasant departure from its overly-cloying fakely sweet peers. On the texture side, it's what you think it is-- sludgy, chalky, chock full of protein isolate-- all things that veer strongly away from 'milky'. I am nonetheless impressed by the potability and restraint on the sweetening side. It's not good, but I must admit it's twice as good as I expected it to be.
Fakely (and strongly) sweet upfront with a starchy, chalky body-- full of protein to be sure, but devoid of anything pleasant. There's little to no cocoa flavor in spite of its dark and deeply brown visage. The post-sip vibes are a regret-inducing confluence of astringency and cloying chemical sweetness. ZERO reasons to drink this unless you need a quick protein infusion.
Uniquely under-sweet for the genre, and seriously devoid of any cocoa flavor. It drinks like a subtle mint milk with a pleasant, cooling undertone-- not offensive by any means, but feels slightly unfulfilling for a limited-time, festive concoction.
Marked by a syrupy girth that delivers a sweet and familiar cocoa flavor (Hershey's?). Its full-fat base does well to sustain the experience but in the end feels a bit forced, especially when compared to a creamline chocolate milk. If you like sweet, beefy, and sticky, you could do much worse than this.
Decidedly uninspired and uninspiriing-- mild cocoa flavor stretched thinly over a lowfat, no-frills base. There's a slight salty quality which fortunately surfaces above the sweetness, but it's not satisfying in any regard and leaves you with an unnatural astringency in the mouth-- not a great feeling while you're looking in the fridge for a chaser.
Ultra-smooth, and very noticeably ultra-pasteurized. The cooked milk flavor is more prominent than anything else, and the 'chocolate' side of it seems to impact the coloration (which is albeit still light) than the flavor-- where it's almost entirely absent. It doesn't take much to realize it's an empty experience, and should be sold by the thimbleful rather than quart.
A relatively girthy and earthy reduced fat (2%) chocolate milk, that is appropriately sweet, decently well-balanced, and bit astringent on the back end. The result is a satisfying, rather beefy drink that leans slightly into 'chalky' territory but not to an obnoxious extent.
Straightforward but enjoyable whole chocolate with a quickly waning sweetness and cocoa sustain afforded by the whole milk base. It won't raise too many eyebrows be it for good or bad, it paints within the lines, lives up to expectations, and isn't embarrassing to be seen with in public.
Refreshingly cocoa-forward, which makes the slightly drying/chalky finish understandable. A solid chocolate milk that gets a lot out of its 2% body-- it punches slightly above its weight.
Average two-percent build with nice aesthetics and a lighter cocoa flavor than the attractive medium brown color suggests. The sweet/salty balance feels right, and it's pleasantly bland-- this won't offend anyone save those looking for a cocoa buzz.
A flavorful punch to the face in the best sense possible-- so much going on here! Fantastic peppermint flavor throughout that registers upfront and intensifies over the next few seconds, leaving you to bask in a deliciously satisfying and cooling afterglow that feels as good as it tastes. The creamy base and cocoa sweetness expertly play their supporting roles, and you're left with a uniquely tasty treat that leaves a lasting impression (literally and figuratively) on the palate.
Alas-- mocha milk done right! It's well-balanced with both a cocoa and coffee presence, and a sweet/salty ratio appropriately in favor of the latter. The base is still very much milky (as it should be) rather than a watered-down, washed out caricature of what mocha often is. I am a coffee drinker and coffee lover, and I would gladly replace my morning cup of joe with this stuff.
Sharply salty with a buttery, creamy girth that is not for the faint of heart. One of the thicker chocolate milks I've had in recent memory, so fans of an authentically beefy base take notice. The cocoa flavor plays third fiddle after the cream and salt, and it tends to arrive late and leave you wanting a bit more. It's deliciously unique, both from flavor and texture profile, and it doesn't take much to satisfy. The experience ends cordially with a warm and slightly grassy goodbye.
Chocolaty, creamy, sweet, salty-- all primary chocolate milk flavors are amped up and surprisingly well-balanced given the strength of each. Its creamline base shines in the latter third of the sip, and warmly gilds whatever surface happens to grace. The (relatively) thin viscosity seems to add velocity to the flavor, as it hits early and often and leaves no tastebud unsatisfied. When you eventually reach your last sip-- wait for the buttery grassiness that rounds out the final, deliciously lasting experience.
An upfront salty hit pops the warm creaminess that continues shine throughout, escorting the malty cocoa flavor everywhere it needs to go. There's a fully-burdened velveteen texture and a uniqueness to the experience, which has real cachet with someone who has had nearly 1,800 different chocolate milks to this point. Overall, an extremely well conceived and executed drinkable dessert.
